Final Solution to the Palestinian Problem

The Palestinian problem has been an enormous thorn in the relations between Israel and the greater world. This has prevented a capable Western style government from bringing the full fruits of its democracy to the Middle East. With the constant niggling and debate of Rights, it is time for Israel to assert its full historic claim to the absolute and final occupation of Greater Israel, from the Mediterranean to the Jordan River, to Lebanon, and south to Sinai. We can stop the illusion and fantasy of a Palestinian state in the West Bank. Historically, this land was Israel, with stretches of time occupied by every power in the region. Though we had a period of Diaspora and left the area for two thousand years, does it matter whether it was two days or two thousand years? Of course not. It is now time to fully reclaim this land and come to a final solution to the Palestinian problem. The moral clarity of this solution will shatter any sentimental notions
Though one can object to some “final solutions” previously set forth, they did have their merits. Ironically, Germany’s final solution allowed for the creation of the state of Israel, and Adolph Hitler may have inadvertently done more for Jews than Herzog. Israel needs to stop depending on the United States for 3 billion dollars annually and stop spending 45% of its GNP on its military. We need to use this money to really bring back the garden of Eden. Before the creation of the state of Israel, the area was made up of farms, fishing enterprises, and minor industries, a society that lived for generations tending the land. It was only when Israel took over the so called Palestinian farms and made them into modern agribusiness, created arms industries and one of the worlds largest armies, and, yes, created a very capable nuclear weapons system, that a true transformation was possible. It’s time to rip off the veil of this illusion. Israel has the most powerful army in the Middle East, and the sooner it addresses the necessary and, albeit politically awkward, public relations problem of the Palestinians, the sooner we can get on with fulfilling the prophecies, that is the prophecies were whispered in the ear of Jews directly from the mouth of God some four thousand years ago.
Gaza can be a beautiful beach-front resort once Israel relocates Hamas to Somalia or Sudan. The Zionist homeland has worked diligently to get the world to see that this so-called home for Palestinians is in reality a terrorist organization and that all of our actions to wipe out this scourge are a blessing for Israel and all peace loving democracies. Not all Gazans need to leave. There are many positions available in the service industry where we will need man-power, but we must maintain absolute fealty to the fatherland -- Israel. Between the genius of Israelis and the labor of loyal Palestinians is a perfect solution.
All Palestinians who choose not to become citizens of Israel, (not full citizenship, of course, since full citizenship requires conversion to Judaism, but a limited citizenship in the way that Black Jews and other Palestinians have been incorporated into Israeli), would be shown the door to Jordan. In the way that the US uses illegal aliens, Israel needs people to work the farms, wait on tables, and perform necessary manual labor. Of course, as with the talented tenth, the extraordinary Palestinians who accept the notion of an Uber Israeli Jewish state can be part of the great Zionist state. After all, most Muslims in the region were Jews forcibly converted to that Mohamed or Christian thing. Those who choose not to participate in this great democracy will be removed to Jordan which is already sixty percent Palestinian. This would also provide a great opportunity for the people who claim displacement in Lebanon to reunite with their families, and that would solve the Right of Return. Our vision of a pure homeland that allows for democracy and security to flourish in the context of a Jewish state is a logical conclusion, wouldn’t you agree?
Though the removal will initially be traumatic, the final solution in greater Israel will allow for unprecedented opportunities for Palestinians in Jordan or other countries in the Middle East. Consider the preposterous notion of Palestinians having their own fully functioning, independent state in the West Bank and Gaza. Do we want the two-state solution of Palestine and Israel, or shall we create an Uber Israeli-Jewish state? The choice is clear.