Brattleboro Safe 9ll Homeland Security Person & Arts Cultural Coordinator

Brattleboro Safe 9ll Homeland Security Person and Arts Cultural Coordinator

There has been a recent initiative to have an Arts Coordinator in Brattleboro to serve as the point person for a wide variety of Arts and Cultural activities. Though it’s a grand idea, it’s not in keeping with the times nor political tide. Arts in the US and Brattleboro is not perceived as integral to the lifeblood of the economy. The Arts Coordinator would have to borrow and beg for funding. A more pragmatic approach is to fuse the roles that more accurately reflects our nation’s war time position: The Brattleboro Safe 911Homeland Security and Arts Coordinator (BS 9ll to be succinct) rolled into one. Art and National Security, a perfect combination!
Facts are facts: Terror, war and homeland security is big business; Art is small potatoes. Wouldn't Washington stand up and take notice that Brattleboro, with its reputation for harboring some of the most extreme elements of the left who have scoffed at the Patriot Act, impugned the War on Terror, and have had the temerity to question President Bush’s genius in Iraq, has finally raised the flag of patriotism high by having a Brattleboro 911 Homeland Security Person? The genius of the Bush administration has been to teach us – what appears ain’t exactly there. For example: we are a peace loving nation and as a peace loving nation we need to go to war; therefore, peace is war and war is peace. Art is bad, because liberals like art. Homeland Security is good because wealthy Republicans make money off it and making money is an American tradition. Arts Coordinator by itself is bad, because art supports liberals, a very bad idea, but BS 9ll ensures that there won't be terrorists living underneath your child’s bed ready to make him into a recruit for Al Qaeda.
The BS9ll could be fully funded in a nanosecond and have more than enough superfluous money to throw at art. Think of the amount of money Halliburton, Blackwater, Bechtel, and the other privateers in the 9ll business make. Our proposed local budget for this post of $10 million dollars is not even a decent bit of flatulence for those folks. Pure chump change.
It would be a grand plan! BS911 operatives would infiltrate every art cabal in the community in the guise of generous benefactors and all the creative liberals well occupied. The musicians would be too busy performing and making money to even question the President. Instead of writers churning out their poisonous venom, BS9ll would give them money to write plays about patriotism and America as a Christian nation, and fund children’s arts program to keep them away from the liberal propaganda of their parents. We would have every damn pen and brush wielding pinko so engaged with theater, art, dance, poetry they wouldn't have the time to march, make noise, or denigrate our President. Art finally in the service of our nation!
Also, with the full weight of national security behind it the BS911 could also do something about the naked people running during Gallery Walk. No need for an undercover operation, a SWAT team will come down and swat their naked fannies right off main street. Not enough people at Gallery Walk in the middle of a blizzard? No problem, BS 9ll declares, “Red Alert all citizens of Brattleboro and surrounding areas are mandated to go to Downtown Gallery Walk.” Easy. Herd the masses.
Unless, there is the extremely absurd notion that Arts and the Creative economy is truly important on its own merit and that our town is willing to support and finance an Arts & Culture Coordinator in our community.